A fool thinks himself to be wise, but
a wise man knows himself to be a fool. – William Shakespeare
One of the
benefits of aging (not that I am old) is attaining a certain amount of wisdom
that can be garnered from it. Being able to look back over a certain span of
time and reflect on where you’ve come and lessons learned can be instrumental
in how you look to the future. Sharing those life lessons to a new generation
of leaders can be invaluable.
The late
George Burns once said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to
get old.” That’s a great philosophy. But the aging process ultimately takes a
toll on all of us.
What are
some of the signs that you are getting older? Here are a few I came across that
are my favorites: You know you’re getting older when… everything hurts and what
doesn’t hurt doesn’t work; the gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your
bifocals; when you feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere;
your children begin to look middle aged; your favorite part of the newspaper is
“20 Years Ago Today”; you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going; and
finally, your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
I’ve been
reflecting lately on the things about leadership I wish I knew back in my
twenties that I now know. If I had understood them better it would have saved
me a lot of grief and heartache along the way. Here are a few things about
leadership I wish I had known.
I don’t always have to be right.
I know many
in their twenties who think they know it all. I was one of them way too often.
With the passing of time I have learned how much I don’t know. What I wish I
knew back then was that my formal education was only the beginning. The real
educational experience began after graduation –it’s called the real world. I
wish I knew in my twenties just how little I knew, and that I didn’t always
have to be right.
Building bridges is more practical
than burning them
I wish I
knew in my twenties the depth and breadth of how important relationships are in
leadership. Sadly at times, it was a “my way or the highway” attitude that
culminated in sad endings. As I’ve grown older the more I understand and care
about building healthy relationships. I’ve grown to appreciate connecting with
like-minded people and building more bridges between them and others.
Titles don’t mean a lot
What I
thought was important in my twenties was acquiring a title- that somehow that
validated my leadership. With that was the idea that my position commanded
respect, admiration, and approval. I was wrong. In hindsight after 30 years I
understand that a position without respect, trust, and integrity are
meaningless. I’d stop chasing titles and positions and focus more on serving
others.
Forgiveness is a virtue
Taking up
the mantle of leadership is risky business. With all of the joys and rewards
associated with it, also come disappointments and frustrations. In my twenties
when I was wronged it was hard not to take it personal and not hold a grudge. What
I wish I had known back then was that my unforgiveness was not hurting the
person who offended me, it was hurting me instead. Life is too short to hold
grudges and be mad. Forgive and move on. And remember, you will need to be
forgiven at some point.
It’s not about me
The
narcissism of my twenties has given way to the “selfie” narcissism we see in
today’s culture. Back in my twenties, of course, there were no cell phones,
internet, Facebook, etc. But the leadership principle remains. What I wish I
knew then that I know now is that the ultimate act of my leadership is not what
I do for myself but in what I do for others. My leadership is not meant to be
self-serving but rather what I can do to add value to the lives of those around
me.
One thing is
certain--life in leadership is a continual learning process. Wherever you are
on your journey, never stop growing.
What lessons have you learned?
© 2015 Doug
Dickerson
I'd like to hear from you! What would you add to the list? Please leave your comments.
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